The following story was written from an actual client. She completed the post-abortive program Life Centers offers, soar. Soar (spiritually oriented abortion recovery) is a post-abortion recovery support group for those impacted by the loss of a child to abortion. Life Centers leads participants on a confidential journey of recovery in an intimate support group with others who are moving toward freedom and healing.
If you would like more information about soar, including session dates, click here.
I had an abortion on July 17, 2008. I went to a clinic for a “way out” of my circumstances. I didn’t want to be pregnant. Not because I didn’t want children, I had a daughter at the time, but because of life circumstances. I thought that at that time, being pregnant and having another child would make my life more difficult. I thought that having an abortion meant I would be “free” from this situation. What I didn’t realize, was that this false sense of freedom was actually putting me in bondage. I had no idea that this one decision would change my life forever.
I was not the same person after I left that clinic. I was a mother, I had a child. I understood how precious life was. But I was afraid and I didn’t believe that God would take care of me. I went to the clinic, I went through with the abortion even though so many times I thought about leaving. I was afraid to stay and I was afraid to leave. Sometimes when I think back to that day, I find myself calling out to that girl, me, though it wasn’t me. I’m telling her to “Get UP! You don’t have to stay there. You don’t have to do this. Get UP!” I so wish that I had gotten up. That I’d had that courage. But I didn’t.
After carrying this burden around for 5 years, I sought out a support group. Google took me to Life Centers. Machelle assured me that Grace bible study (now soar) would really help. I showed up on our first day. I really didn’t want to go into the building. My heart was pounding. So many voices were trying to convince me that it wouldn’t really help. I knew that I didn’t want to continue carrying this with me- the guilt and shame. Some days it was more than I could handle. But I showed up, and I was willing to do the hard work. I struggled through many of the topics, but the struggle wasn’t in vein. God was breaking down some very thick walls so that He could show some light where it was dark. Grace (now soar) gave me hope when I had none. Grace helped me see Jesus when I believed He had left me. Grace helped me fully understand God’s true love and forgiveness. He doesn’t forgive us because He has to, He does because He wants to.
While I know that this is a part of my story and a part of my journey, it’s not how God ever intended my life to be, but I can walk with Him in love and grace.
If you want more information about abortion recovery through soar, please contact Machelle Montgomery.